


It Hurts....

by Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever



Series: Roman Isn't Okay Anymore [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Guess whos venting again, Head the warnings please, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Self-Harm, The self harming is in chapter two, Tissue Warning, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, be careful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever/pseuds/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever
Summary: Roman is forced to be the 'perfect child'. But he feels guilty about this, especially when his twin is yelled at.Tonight is when everything becomes too much and Roman isn't okay anymore....(Its another vent fic, and its Roman's turn to hurt.)
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Roman Isn't Okay Anymore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662115
Comments: 12
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

Roman sat in the living room, trying to quiet the noises inside and outside his head. His twin, Remus, was currently being reprimanded for missing work and papers in school, again. Roman sat there on the couch as he heard the yelling between his parents and his brother.

Roman flinched when the screaming got louder, but he kept trying to distract himself, to no avail. He couldn't help but let his mind wander to the dark parts of his mind. The ones filled with self doubt and negatives. He knew he felt bad, about having to be this 'perfect' child, and he knew he felt bad for feeling this bad. He had what he wanted and needed, he shouldn't be feeling like this. He didn't want to be the one who had to take care of his little siblings, Janus and Patton, when his parents were working. He didnt want to be the one who had to keep his grades up unless he wanted to be like his twin. He was filled with pressure and stress, but wasnt aloud to show it, and he didnt. Because he believed that showing that would be wrong. 

As Remus started to talk back to their parents, Roman decided he'd had enough of the fighting. He raced to his room, trying to keep as quiet as he could, and grabbed his headphones, before racing back down. Virgil, his friend, told him that playing music could help, but blasting it as loud as he could was a bad idea. Roman tried so hard to keep the music low, but the lecturing and snapping hurt.

Blasting his music all the way up as it could go on his phone, Ro inserted his Headphones. Logan, his boyfriend, Would probably get on his back about it, but he didn't care. If he went deaf then so be it. He wouldn't be able to hear the fighting going on. Enough time had passed, and Roman saw Remus stomp up the stairs into their shared room. Roman didn't stop the music. He never did. 

Not when his other brother Remy came into the room and sat next to the boy in the curled up position. Not when he wordlessly put his arms around him. Not when they both had tears rolling down their faces. Not even when Pat and Janus had joined in and tried to comfort the elder kids. 

He never turned off the music, but he could still hear the echoes of screaming and insults. No matter what he did or how loud his music was, they would never leave him...


	2. A little something more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw: you dont have to read this chapter. I added this because it goes with the storyline. It deals with self harm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; THIS DEALS WITH SWELF HARM, BE CAREFUL AND MIND THE TAGS

Red. Roman valued the color red. It was passionate, and bold, like him. But, it also had another side to it; it was also full of pain and hurt. Roman was about to find out about the double life the color had. 

…

His headphones were broken. They had stopped working and now he had nothing to protect himself. He couldn't find a way to get his mind off the anxiety and the burn of his life. He was home alone, except for his brother Remus, who was currently passed out on the couch. 

Roman paced in his room, shaking his head and trying to keep his thoughts and demons at bay. He groaned as some slipped through his imaginary dam. 

**_Pathetic. How could you live like this?_ **

**_You won't be able to accomplish anything because you're such a loser._ **

**_You're so selfish and greedy. You have everything you need yet you complain and whine._ **

The 13 year old ran into the bathroom and flung open the cabinet. He was intent in finding ear plugs but found something that would change his life. His father's Exacto knife. Roman didn't know why it was in the bathroom's cabinet, but the thought slipped his mind as he took it out. 

Closing and locking the door, he sat on the toilet, the metal item in his hands. He stared at it and got an idea. A terrible idea. 

**_You think that a little pain is going to keep me away? I will always be here. I will be here when you become a monster and rage on everyone in your path. I will-_ **

But the demons voice was drowned out when his victim took off his shorts and put the knife to his thigh. He was too scared- _ **coward** \- _ to use it on his arm just yet. It wasn't the first time he had taken a sharp item to his pale skin, but it was the first time in drawing blood. He watched, mesmerized as the blood dribbled down the side of his thigh. He made tiny cuts until he was satisfied and put the knife away, hoping that he wouldn't need it again. 

But he did. Later that day the yelling came back again. His family were mad and angry and it was rubbing off on him. He raced upstairs and passed the bathroom, until he stopped and walked back into it. He hesitated before shutting the door and turning on the shower head, the water burning like lava. Roman sat down in it, the water dripping down his head, and he attacked his thighs once more. The red went down the drain, and it wasn't enough. He needed more. 

So he went to his arm. He swiped back and forth on one spot so there was a huge cut a couple of inches long. There were black spots dotting his vision, but he couldn't tell if that was because of the hot heat, the blood, or from how tired he was. How tired he was of everything. 

How tired he was of this stupid life. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was trash, sorry..


End file.
